If you don't agree...

The following are simply my own musings. I’m not judging, or even attempting to call out, those who engage in the activity with which I'm struggling. Not yet, anyway.

Lately I have been seeing a lot of, “If you believe X delete me now” posts on social media. I am torn by this idea. I have deleted some folks who are particularly extreme on certain issues, like people I think would somehow find a way to defend genocide. But is it realistic or even desirable to only interact with those who share my views and values? While it is important to me that my partner and closest friends share my core values, I will always have to interact with and share spaces with those who do not share all of my beliefs or values. That doesn’t mean, however, that we cannot find common ground, or that I shouldn’t engage with them.

That being said, I am incredibly frustrated by the fact that I feel as if I am having to teach and/or debate things like basic human decency and compassion with grown ass adults. These conversations are frustrating AF and incredibly draining, but perhaps they are worth it if even one person begins to think about the world differently. Most days it doesn’t feel like that will ever happen; statistically I know it’s unlikely these conversations will get anywhere...but maybe they will. If I didn’t have some faith that people can change and grow then I would be even more depressed and anxious than I already am.

I also imagine it’s much easier for me to endure the frustration and seeming disregard for humanity from my place of privilege in this world. For me that privilege necessitates tolerating this kind of thing, though. I can only imagine how scared, overwhelmed, exhausted and so many more feelings the disenfranchised feel as these conversations happen around them -- often as if they aren’t even there, aren’t even human. I feel obligated to let them know they aren’t alone. That others value them simply because they’re human beings.

However, at what point to do I give up hope for people? How long do we endure the headache and pain of people being assholes? At what point do I delete those assholes or otherwise excommunicate them from my life? I’m still trying to figure that out. People of color, the LGBT community, immigrants, etc. cannot turn this off or shut it out in the way that those of us with privilege can, so is it fair for me to just give up, stop trying to change hearts and minds? I don’t think it’s fair or right for me to do that. I also doesn’t believe that means people of privilege can’t take a “break” or create a space for self-care. We can, and we should, but we also need to be conscious of how and when we take that time and space.

As far as changing hearts and minds, I know for damn sure social media is so unlikely to have an impact. However, social media is how so many people connect, both formally and informally. It allows us to maintain some type of contact with folks with whom we may not otherwise regularly engage. But do I want to be connected, formally or informally, with people who believe it’s okay to put kids in cages because their caregivers (likely parents…) didn’t show up with the correct documentation while literally fleeing for their lives? Or people who believe that all poor folks are just lazy and/or need to work harder? From a passionate and emotional place my answer is, “Hell no. I have no desire or need to connect with people like that.” But then I am reminded of the fact that one view doesn’t make an entire person, even if that one view makes me physically ill and emotionally exhausted. I truly do not know where to draw the line on keeping these folks in my life in any way, shape, or form, and I will likely struggle with it for a long time. I imagine the answer is different for each one of us. While I do not want to be associated with assholes and bigots who may or may not be my Facebook friends, I do want to keep the door open for the potential ‘big’ conversations. I want to show people the kindness and understanding they seem incapable of showing to those who are different from them. I hope to challenge them to be more kind, open-minded, and loving. For now I will also continue to hope against hope that our society can be better.

Is This Who We Are?

A quick note unrelated to the title: Clearly I failed to return back in 2013. I have no excuse. Life happened, and I dropped the ball...and here we are in June 2018. I hope to be back on a semi-regular schedule, at least until I begin law school in August. Time will tell whether that actually happens. Right now the state of our country is terrifying me to the point that I’m losing sleep. I hope putting some of these fears and anxieties into a more concrete form rather than allowing them to rattle around in my mind will be cathartic. If I can spur conversation in the process that’s even better.

Another note: I wrote this super quickly over a couple of evenings without much proofing. Judge away but know that I’m actually a little bit intelligent, even if it’s not evident here.
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Is this really who we are? As a society. As a nation. As a world. As humanity. This is a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. So frequently that it keeps me up at night. I’m terrified and disgusted by the fact that the answer seems to be a resounding, “Yes!”

This isn’t our nation’s first, or even second, foray into separating families for the financial or political gain of those in power, or for fear of the other and the unknown. It’s almost as if this is an old tradition for us, and it’s sickening.

Some more thoughts that have been rattling around recently. I wrote this before 45 signed his Executive Order to put out the fire that he fucking started. I also used news as sources rather than actually looking up the law. Please feel free to correct me (with sources) if I’m wrong. While I will not have conversations about whether or not we should care about what happens to other human beings, I do want to learn & understand more.

• There is absolutely NO law requiring every immigrant who crosses the border illegally to be charged in criminal court and detained. (One source, although I looked at many.) Previous administrations have processed many of these cases through civil proceedings. The so-called “zero tolerance” policy enacted by this administration means many more adults are charged in criminal court for “improper entry,” even if it is their first offense. The criminal charge results in detainment, and children, of course, cannot (and arguably should not) be detained with ‘criminal; adults, resulting in the systematic separation of families. This administration dictated this policy, and this administration can change it. Changing this policy does not require an act of Congress. Literally.

• Further, the criminal charge increases the likelihood of deportation. The children are not included in deportation proceedings decreasing the possibility of reuniting children and parents/caregivers.
• Immigration court does not allow for the right to counsel, so we are literally asking these CHILDREN to represent themselves in a court of law.

• Some people are using children who are not their own to enter the country under false pretenses. I have no doubt about that. However, even that does not justify family separation or the detention of CHILDREN.

• The Obama administration prioritized the deportation of only the most dangerous undocumented immigrants. The current administration has no priority list for deportation and only references “criminal offenses.”

• NO HUMAN BEING IS ILLEGAL!

This demonizing and dehumanization of those entering our country improperly (or any human being, for that matter) is the beginning of a slippery slope toward all sorts of atrocities. Are we too far down that slope? I hope not. However, failing to recognize what is happening, or simply denying it, only increases the speed at which we move even further from the ideals we claim to hold so dear. We will likely always fall short of our ideals because ideals are just that -- a standard of perfection, according to dictionary.com. But that doesn’t mean we should stop trying to reach them or that we should make excuses for why we haven't reached them.

And my final thought of the day: There is no circumstance in which it is acceptable to do irreparable harm to a child. Forcibly removing children from their caregivers (even if said caregivers are not their biological parents) and then denying them basic human needs like affection and comfort is something we cannot ever take back. It is not so different from removing Native American children from their homes and families. I cannot, in any way, endorse what is currently happening on our southern border. I am ashamed of the way this country is behaving.